Lessons With A King

We are surrounded by motivation porn. If you use any social media service, from Instagram to Twitter, you can be sure that there is going to be a post that is all about motivating you to do X or Y. There’s nothing wrong with that but if you are waiting for motivation to do that thing you want to do, there’s a very good chance that it won’t get done. What we need to rely on is discipline. The discipline to suck it up and do what is needed, day in day out without any external influence. It isn’t easy but it is not impossible. Set a schedule and stick to it. Yes, you’ll slip but you just get right back and do what is needed. Bit by bit and boom, you’ll get to your goal.

PROMPT: What things can you do to cultivate discipline?

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If you have to do something, focus on getting it done. Perfection is not a bad goal but it is not ideal. When it comes down to it, unless it’s Mathematics, you might not get the perfect result you want. So get it done, learn from that process, and then apply what you learned to the next go-round. It will be better because you apply things you learned. If you want to get it perfect before you call it done, you might never get it done.

PROMPT: Do you struggle with perfection? What was the last thing you finished? Was it perfect?

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If you feel a certain way in relation to a person, it is a good idea to let them know. There’s no one that will read your mind or sense your emotions. Nope. So if you want them to know, make sure you tell them.

PROMPT: How comfortable are you with sharing how you feel? Why?

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Rather than complain when you are in a shitty situation, ask yourself this simple question: Am I a victim or a volunteer? Because we are one or the other in every situation. We either willingly put ourselves in that situation or we were forced into it. Though more often than not, we did put ourselves in that situation, and if you volunteered to be there, well, if you can’t take it anymore, you can pull out. I know it isn’t always easy but once we agree we are volunteering to remain in that situation, it will make it easier to leave and if we are a victim in the situation, we should reach out for help.

PROMPT: Are you a volunteer or a victim?

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We should always promote psychological safety whenever we are able. Psychological safety is about removing fear from human interaction and replacing it with respect and permission. From Wikipedia: Timothy R. Clark has contributed to the concept of psychological safety with the 4 Stages of Psychological Safety framework. He defines psychological safety as “a condition in which human beings feel (1) included, (2) safe to learn, (3) safe to contribute, and (4) safe to challenge the status quo – all without fear of being embarrassed, marginalized, or punished in some way.”  These are essential in every relationship. If you don’t have that maybe you need to pull the plug.

Prompt: Are you afraid to express yourself in your relationship? Why? #LessonsWithAKing

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