Lessons With A King

Following up from yesterday’s reparenting yourself, a great model is the PAC Model. One core concept behind Transactional Analysis is that every person has 3 different “ego” states that can manifest themselves in any given social interaction. These 3 ego states include the “Parent,” “Adult,” and “Child” – also known as the PAC Model. The Adult state allows you to step back and think things through before you act. This is where we should aim for.

PROMPT: Practice speaking more from the “Adult” ego state

One of my best lines of poetry is from the poem This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin: “They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do.” It’s sad but true. However, rather than push the blame, you are now able to work on yourself to be better to unfuck that fuck up they gave you. It isn’t easy and it will be ongoing but it is something that we all need.

PROMPT: How do you reparent yourself?

Most people are scared of the blank canvas, of starting all over. It’s like, they’ve built a certain life and anything new is scary or they worry they won’t do good enough. What they forget is that a blank canvas is a beautiful opportunity to create something new, something that might just turn out amazing. The blank canvas shouldn’t inspire fear, no, it would fire you up to build something amazing. Plus you get to learn new things in the process.

PROMPT: What is your next project?

Lesson 285: Embrace Positive Obsessions

Sure, having an obsession can be a bad thing but I do believe if you have a positive obsession, it can help you work harder than most people are. The key is to make sure you know exactly what you are doing and also know when you tone things down. One more thing, it’s your obsession, sure but make sure it is one that is building towards a positive goal.

PROMPT: What are some positive obsessions you have?

What’s fun to you might be terrifying to the other person but it doesn’t matter because it’s about you. Do something fun and do it often. It’s been a very trying time with the pandemic and all the crazy things going on. However, we should make sure we take time out to do fun things because it’s good for us.

PROMPT: What fun thing will you do next?