Category: Lessons With A King

Have you ever been so sure of something happening a certain way only for things to turn out the opposite? Sucks, right? Well, that should show that in life we should never be too certain of anything. In fact, we need to be less certain because that makes us cautious and willing to learn even more. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should stray into paranoia but you should be less certain of things, situations, and people because it will make your life a lot easier.

PROMPT: What shook your certainty?

If you want to get something done, make sure you have a date. It is important you circle it and/or mark it in your calendar. When we have a deadline, we tend to work towards beating it.

PROMPT: Choose any date you like, as far in the future as you like. But a date circled on the calendar.

I always find it shocking when people see things, especially people as black or white. I really don’t think we are that way. As human beings, we are super complex. We shouldn’t just box people or expect because they have a certain background they’ll behave a certain way. We are super complex and you should never forget that.

PROMPT: What is one complex thing about you?

Following up from yesterday’s reparenting yourself, a great model is the PAC Model. One core concept behind Transactional Analysis is that every person has 3 different “ego” states that can manifest themselves in any given social interaction. These 3 ego states include the “Parent,” “Adult,” and “Child” – also known as the PAC Model. The Adult state allows you to step back and think things through before you act. This is where we should aim for.

PROMPT: Practice speaking more from the “Adult” ego state

One of my best lines of poetry is from the poem This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin: “They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do.” It’s sad but true. However, rather than push the blame, you are now able to work on yourself to be better to unfuck that fuck up they gave you. It isn’t easy and it will be ongoing but it is something that we all need.

PROMPT: How do you reparent yourself?